Are You Struggling To Sexually And Emotionally Connect With Your Partner?
Are you and your partner struggling with physical, intimate connection? Do you often wonder if there is something wrong with you, your partner or your sex life in general? Maybe one of you desires sex more often than the other, leading to tension and disconnection in the bedroom as well as in other parts of your relationship. Or perhaps physical issues, such as an illness, menopause, early ejaculation, lack of orgasm or erectile dysfunction (ED) are limiting your sex life and causing you to judge your relationship and compare yourselves to others. Has an infidelity or another breach of trust compromised the trust and safety between you and your partner? Are you harboring grief, anger or even rage from a major fight, making it feel impossible to open up sexually and become vulnerable with your partner? Do you wish you could feel sexually and emotionally connected with your partner, freely sharing the pleasure you long for?
An unsatisfying sex life can be a frustrating, lonely and even painful experience – especially when problems in the bedroom spill over into the everyday aspects of your relationship. Whether you’re struggling with an illness that impacts sexual functioning, trying to recover from an affair, processing a trauma or have grown apart over time, when there’s a sexual disconnection in a relationship, affection is often replaced with tension and pain. Rather than talking through sex issues with our partners, many of us withdraw emotionally, spend more time at work or with friends and even start looking outside of the relationship to fill an emotional and/or physical void.
Sexual Issues Are More Common Than You May Think
If you’re unhappy with your sex life, you are not alone. Multiple polls and studies show that at least a third and up to half of American partnered adults feel that their sex life is not up to par. The reasons for feeling sexually unfulfilled are many. How we grew up talking – or more likely not talking – about sex coupled with the unrealistic representations of sex portrayed in the media and movies leave many people feeling like something is wrong with them, their partner or both. When looking for advice on sex and love, many of us turn to our friends or online sources who may not know much more than we do. And, health issues and sexual abuse and trauma can also impact how we approach and engage with sex. The bottom line is that millions of Americans are longing for better sex and increased intimacy with their partners, and most of us don’t have the skills to talk about it, let alone achieve it.
The good news is that there is help and hope. If you’re experiencing feelings of disconnection and rejection or beginning to look outside of your relationship, an experienced therapist can help you and your partner create an exciting, loving and intimate physical and emotional connection.
Sex Therapy Can Provide You And Your Partner With Insight, Support And Skills
You can connect sexually with your partner, and sex therapy can help. In a nonjudgmental, safe and comfortable space, you and your partner can begin to create a dialogue about your needs and desires. We all approach sex from a different path, but when you and your partner start speaking from your hearts and shift your perspectives about sex, you can start enjoying a sexually satisfying relationship again.
In sex therapy sessions, I can help you and your partner relax and begin exploring your thoughts and feelings about sex. I create a comfortable atmosphere in which you can ask even your most embarrassing questions. Together, we can break down and challenge notions about what sex should be that you developed while growing up or learned from the media or friends. And, then we can explore what sex is and can be for you and your lover. When defenses are down, clarities and common ground can surface. You can have your experience validated and understood while learning more about your partner. You can start seeing that there is a solution and that a healthy, satisfying sex life is possible.
I use different models to talk about sex. As we begin to identify what the issues are and when they began, I’ll tailor-create a strategy that best addresses and supports you and your partner’s needs, goals and personalities. Our work will happen in the here and now of my office and in keeping conversation safe and comfortable, I’ll ask your permission to speak candidly about what I observe. Once we create a trusting relationship, we can dig deeper and discuss what turns you both on. We all have different paths to arousal – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual – and once you truly understand how you and your partner approach sex, you can enjoy a whole new level of connectedness and pleasure.
I can also provide you with tips, techniques and ideas about how you can create more passion and pleasure in your sex life. We can explore anything and everything that can increase the excitement and union of your relationship, from sexual positions to sex toys to the anatomy and physiology of your bodies
With the help of a nonjudgmental, sexually educated and open therapist and the willingness to explore your relationship and sexuality, it is very possible to create a healthy, satisfying intimate relationship. You can work through emotional and physical hurdles and cultivate a playful, exciting and passionate sex life.
While you’d love to intimately reconnect with your partner and enjoy better sex, you still may have questions or concerns about sex therapy…
I don’t know if I could actually talk about any of this. I’m afraid that I’ll be judged or my partner will think I’m crazy.
If you’re nervous, I encourage you to call me or come in for an initial visit. We can talk through your concerns and begin to develop a relationship. There’s no need to dive into your innermost thoughts, fears and desires right away. That said, I’ve been facilitating sex therapy sessions for over a decade, and there’s nothing that surprises or shocks me. I’m nonjudgmental and compassionate, and clients tell me that I’m easy to talk with and relate to. As for your partner, chances are that he or she may be experiencing the same fears. In sex therapy sessions, I can gently push you both to open up. Once you begin communicating openly and honestly about your needs and desires, it becomes possible to take your sex life and relationship to a whole new level.
My partner refuses to attend sex therapy with me.
In all honesty, sex therapy is most effective when both partners are present and willing to engage in the work. However, there is a lot that you can do on your own. Therapy can provide you with a safe place to explore your own sexuality, talk about your past, identify your needs and desires and figure out what turns you on. You can also learn how to effectively communicate your needs and desires to your partner, which can have a positive impact on your sex life. Furthermore, when your partner feels a difference and improvement in you and your sex life, he or she may soften to the idea of therapy and choose to join you.
We haven’t had good sex in years. I’m not sure that sex therapy will work for us.
Regardless of how disconnected you and your partner have become, there is always room for change if you’re both willing. And, if you haven’t sought out support before, you may be surprised by how many resources, tips, tools, techniques and options are available to you. You can also explore and adopt new ways to communicate – both emotionally and physically – with each other, which can open up unexplored pathways and improve not only your sex life, but also strengthen your relationship.
You And Your Partner Can Enjoy A Healthy, Connected Sex Life
You don’t have to try to navigate your sexual and intimacy challenges on your own. I offer a free 30-minute initial consultation to discuss your specific counseling needs and to answer any questions you have about working with me. Please fill out the contact form to arrange a consultation.
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